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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Zoo!


a couple weekends ago we took scarlett to the zoo for the first time.

she loved it! 

i love the zoo and since before scar was born i have been so excited to take her. alex was so busy this summer studying and looking for a job that i was almost convinced that we were not going to be able to make it this year. but he surprised me last weekend and we went! it was a perfect 75 degree saturday. which made for a packed zoo. 


this was her the whole time. reaching for everything.

poor baby would get so frustrated she couldn't get up close and pet the animals!


this was the cutest thing...as soon as alex put her on his shoulders, she threw her arms in the air. so many fun things to see!

watching the fish was one of her favorites.

she's getting to be such a big girl.

:)






she was so excited to finally be able to touch an animal! the children's zoo only had goats for the kids to pet but it made scar happy. although i felt bad for the goats as i'm sure they do not enjoy all the kiddos runnin around and hitting them. ha. but we helped scar be gentle.


....the end of the day.  

her favorites were the fish {she will love the shedd aquarium!}, polar bears, bison and everything at children's zoo! oh! they did not have any elephants! bummer. although i guess, good for the elephants.

it was so fun she didn't want to leave. except she did because she was exhausted.

next summer we may just get a membership.


Friday, August 24, 2012

do we expect more from our children than we do ourselves?


a couple weeks ago i had a really bad day.
 i was acting like a total brat.
{i was going to use the other b word buuuuut....}
 i was acting that way because on the inside, emotionally...i wasn't doing too well.
and  i was hungry.
 and i can get pretty upset when i'm hungry.
 and there was no food in the house.
ok let's be honest. there was food.
just nothing quick and easy and i didn't want to cook.
 i was also exhausted and of course scarlett didn't want to nap {looking back i was probably so high strung and upset that she couldn't relax enough to go to sleep. my trying to force her to sleep was not helping}.
 i wish i could give some grand excuse for my behavior that day.
 but i can't.
 i'm just human. 

moving on.

at one point i barged into the room alex was studying in
 {at the time it was the week before the bar}...
yelling and demanding that he watch scarlett and saying some other {not so nice} things. 
and at one point i set scarlett down next to him and just walked out. 
alex being the gracious, patient man that he is, listened to me and then watched scar so i could calm down. but when i came back i guess i was still upset (about God knows what) because once again i started yelling.
basically i was throwing an adult tantrum. haaaa. not my proudest moment. 
somewhere in there with my ridiculous accusations towards alex and my incessant yelling
 his patience may have started wavering ;) 
he got a little defensive and i may have been told to calm down.
 and i hate that. 
so all of that just made it so much worse for me. i just yelled {some more} and said things i didn't mean.

 but thank Jesus for husbands that love their wives more than themselves. he is so full of love and i don't know how he does it but he quieted himself. listened to me. and hugged me.

 i just wanted a hug.
 i just wanted him to listen to me talk about this terrible day i was having...
about my frustrations.
 i wanted my feelings validated. 
although i don't think i knew that's all i wanted until he gave it to me.
 but as soon as he did, i just melted.
 i cried for a while and apologized over and over again.
 i then spent some time crying with Jesus (and scarlett on my lap, looking curiously at my tears)
 and let Him give me grace. 

after that the rest of my day was better. 
i was able to give to scarlett the grace, patience and love she deserves that i was having a hard time giving to her before because my own love cup was getting low. 
but thanks to my Father God and loving husband i felt so
 refreshed.

so i guess....all this to say...

the next time your child misbehaves or throws a tantrum...
think about what you would want if it were you.

would you want your loved one to just walk away from you because they wanted to "teach you a lesson"?
would you want a lecture?

or would you want someone to listen to why you're upset, why you're acting this way?
or just sit with you while you cry?
hug you?
and then when you've calmed down and if you had done something hurtful or messed up in some way,
that person can talk to you about that...lovingly...after they have connected with you.
and i know i would be much more receptive to listening to what they have to say and learning if i felt understood and cared for.
................................................................................

i know that it is God's love that betters me.
 it is His love that turns me from sin.
not scolding, not punishment, not shaming.
but love.
His empathy and patience.
His forgiveness.
His kindness.

those things build trust in someone. they make your relationship and connection with that person stronger.



when S throws a tantrum i want to be there for her while she expresses her big feelings the only way she knows how right now.*
just like alex was there for me when i was irrationally angry at him.
i want her to know that it's not only ok but healthy and good to express her emotions.
her feelings are not wrong.
she just needs to be taught and shown appropriate ways to express them.




little s is not even one yet so i have a lot to experience and learn.
i am so excited for that.
 and would love to learn from you mommies, daddies, parents-to-be, teachers and caregivers!

how do you handle your child's big feelings?
what have you found works for your family?

how do you handle your emotions?
i'm pretty good at letting those get out of control too fast.
this is something i need help with!









*something to consider: 
"For children under age 4 to 5 years old, did you know that they don’t understand consequence at all? Their brains simply aren’t yet developed enough to understand cause and effect – so any kind of discipline similar to time-outs is being completely lost on them! Their left and right brains up to the age of 4 to 5 years old are essentially operating independently. They are unable to think logically, and with compassion or empathy. They are almost primarily governed by impulse and emotions and will act selfishly when playing with others. Concepts such as sharing are foreign to them, though they may mimic or parrot this kind of behaviour back to you if driven home repeatedly."

what do you think? have you done any research on brain development in children? 
would you like to? 
i want to! i have done very little so far! i have a lot to learn.
so please share!



Tuesday, August 21, 2012

pictures.

here are some pictures from the last few weeks...just cause.




beginning of the summer, relaxing in the pool with the grandparents.
she's just cute is all.

fun in the tub. we looove bubbles!

my grandma. this was bek's graduation party.

aunt bek

our good friends! penny : mary : ben. this was at the twins' 1st birthday party! they're 2 months older than scarlett. miss them so much.

sitting outside. we do this a lot.

we also do this a lot.

she's really into putting things on her head, around her neck and on her face. super cute.

she's got her modeling pose down. ha.

kronky's 14th birthday! we went mini golfing (I WON...just sayin.) and than out to eat. it was a fun day!

brother benny and i

the day after laura's birthday we drove to iowa to visit the fam. den + patty (alex's dad and step mom) just started farming this year! they've got tons of veggies and fruits. all organic. it's amazing. and a ton of hardwork. 

scar loved papa wimms's hat! actually alex brought it home with us.


scar on a boat for the fist time :) she did not like the life jacket at all. and i don't blame her. 
relaxing by the water, watching the boats go by.

she loves her auntie laurel.

drivin the tractor with papa

:)



our camera battery died like two days after we got there aaaaand of course i forgot the charger, so i don't have as many pictures of that trip as i wanted. but we had fun on the farm :)