my baby is one!

i cannot put into words how much i love this little girl of mine.

i love being a momma.


i couldn't wait to have a baby. those close to me during that time would probably laugh and say that that's putting it mildly ;) i was so excited and felt so ready to be a mom. in the midst of my excitement i was also preparing myself for all the sacrifices that i would have to make after having a child.
i expected to be giving things up all the time for her.
and i guess i have given things up. like sleep...a lot of sleep. and there certainly have been times where i wasn't able to go be with friends because she needed me. i've had to turn down invitations a couple times from friends or family that in the days before having s i would have been all over. and i'm not gonna lie. sometimes that's hard. but a sacrifice?

does it really count as sacrifice if the alternative is better than the thing you're turning down? 

i wouldn't give up my time with her for anything.
even more sleep.

...

so. one whole year.

i have absolutely loved watching her grow and learn...and just be.
who knew watching someone look at a book could be so mesmerizing?

she has more than tripled her weight in this first year.
she now weighs 28 lbs and is approximately 30 inches long. (i was having a really hard time trying to measure her haha)
she hasn't really gained much in the last couple months. she's definitely hit a plateau.

i would say she's about 50/50 on eating solids and breastfeeding.
she loves food but seems to still prefer nursing just a little bit more. she will pretty much eat anything but i guess some of her favorites are raspberries, most meat, ak-mak crackers and pasta.

she's constantly moving these days.
not yet walking on her own but is always cruising the furniture and is standing on her own more and more....especially in the last few days. on sunday she actually took her first couple tiny, wobbly steps all on her own!....none since then.

she loves bellybuttons! and will show you hers if you ask. well if she knows you she will show you...if she doesn't know you she's too distracted by getting to know you to care about belly buttons.

she loves music and dancing! anytime she hears music she's swayin or bouncin...going from foot to foot while she holds onto something and shakes her little booty. she could not be cuter.
even if she hears the word music she will start dancing a little in preparation thinking we're going to put music on. hahaha

she loves her family. all her aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas. and very much of the time will choose them over mom and dad. ha.
with certain people she doesn't know she is a little tentative, with others she will go right to them if we let her.

she loves BOOKS! definitely her favorite "toy" right now. we read together all the time. or she sits and flips thru and looks at the pages by herself.

she loves putting things around her neck...necklaces, daddy's dress socks, towels...really anything she can find. and then she will just crawl around with it on her.

this is another favorite of hers :)

i have watched her go from this....

to this...

my little adventurer.
a little girl that has no problem letting her preferences be known. that likes to
give wet kisses and snuggle with a book.
she also loves long boarding. 

she is so much fun.


thank you, scarlett, for making my life more beautiful and more joyful than i ever could have imagined.
you are loved.

{birthday pictures coming soon!}

Zoo!

a couple weekends ago we took scarlett to the zoo for the first time.

she loved it! 

i love the zoo and since before scar was born i have been so excited to take her. alex was so busy this summer studying and looking for a job that i was almost convinced that we were not going to be able to make it this year. but he surprised me last weekend and we went! it was a perfect 75 degree saturday. which made for a packed zoo. 

this was her the whole time. reaching for everything.

poor baby would get so frustrated she couldn't get up close and pet the animals!

this was the cutest thing...as soon as alex put her on his shoulders, she threw her arms in the air. so many fun things to see!

watching the fish was one of her favorites.

she's getting to be such a big girl.

:)

she was so excited to finally be able to touch an animal! the children's zoo only had goats for the kids to pet but it made scar happy. although i felt bad for the goats as i'm sure they do not enjoy all the kiddos runnin around and hitting them. ha. but we helped scar be gentle.

....the end of the day.  

her favorites were the fish {she will love the shedd aquarium!}, polar bears, bison and everything at children's zoo! oh! they did not have any elephants! bummer. although i guess, good for the elephants.

it was so fun she didn't want to leave. except she did because she was exhausted.

next summer we may just get a membership.

do we expect more from our children than we do ourselves?

a couple weeks ago i had a really bad day.

 i was acting like a total brat.
{i was going to use the other b word buuuuut....}

 i was acting that way because on the inside, emotionally...i wasn't doing too well.

and  i was hungry.

 and i can get pretty upset when i'm hungry.

 and there was no food in the house.
ok let's be honest. there was food.
just nothing quick and easy and i didn't want to cook.

 i was also exhausted and of course scarlett didn't want to nap {looking back i was probably so high strung and upset that she couldn't relax enough to go to sleep. my trying to force her to sleep was not helping}.

 i wish i could give some grand excuse for my behavior that day.

 but i can't.

 i'm just human. 

moving on.

at one point i barged into the room alex was studying in

 {at the time it was the week before the bar}...

yelling and demanding that he watch scarlett and saying some other {not so nice} things. 

and at one point i set scarlett down next to him and just walked out. 

alex being the gracious, patient man that he is, listened to me and then watched scar so i could calm down. but when i came back i guess i was still upset (about God knows what) because once again i started yelling.

basically i was throwing an adult tantrum. haaaa. not my proudest moment. 

somewhere in there with my ridiculous accusations towards alex and my incessant yelling

 his patience may have started wavering ;) 

he got a little defensive and i may have been told to calm down.
 and i hate that. 
so all of that just made it so much worse for me. i just yelled {some more} and said things i didn't mean.

 but thank Jesus for husbands that love their wives more than themselves. he is so full of love and i don't know how he does it but he quieted himself. listened to me. and hugged me.

 i just wanted a hug.

 i just wanted him to listen to me talk about this terrible day i was having...

about my frustrations.

 i wanted my feelings validated. 

although i don't think i knew that's all i wanted until he gave it to me.

 but as soon as he did, i just melted.

 i cried for a while and apologized over and over again.

 i then spent some time crying with Jesus (and scarlett on my lap, looking curiously at my tears)

 and let Him give me grace. 

after that the rest of my day was better. 

i was able to give to scarlett the grace, patience and love she deserves that i was having a hard time giving to her before because my own love cup was getting low. 

but thanks to my Father God and loving husband i felt so

 refreshed.

so i guess....all this to say...

the next time your child misbehaves or throws a tantrum...
think about what you would want if it were you.

would you want your loved one to just walk away from you because they wanted to "teach you a lesson"?
would you want a lecture?

or would you want someone to listen to why you're upset, why you're acting this way?
or just sit with you while you cry?
hug you?
and then when you've calmed down and if you had done something hurtful or messed up in some way,
that person can talk to you about that...lovingly...after they have connected with you.
and i know i would be much more receptive to listening to what they have to say and learning if i felt understood and cared for.
................................................................................

i know that it is God's love that betters me.
 it is His love that turns me from sin.
not scolding, not punishment, not shaming.
but love.
His empathy and patience.
His forgiveness.
His kindness.

those things build trust in someone. they make your relationship and connection with that person stronger.



when S throws a tantrum i want to be there for her while she expresses her big feelings the only way she knows how right now.*
just like alex was there for me when i was irrationally angry at him.
i want her to know that it's not only ok but healthy and good to express her emotions.
her feelings are not wrong.
she just needs to be taught and shown appropriate ways to express them.

little s is not even one yet so i have a lot to experience and learn.
i am so excited for that.
 and would love to learn from you mommies, daddies, parents-to-be, teachers and caregivers!

how do you handle your child's big feelings?
what have you found works for your family?

how do you handle your emotions?
i'm pretty good at letting those get out of control too fast.
this is something i need help with!









*something to consider: 
"For children under age 4 to 5 years old, did you know that they don’t understand consequence at all? Their brains simply aren’t yet developed enough to understand cause and effect – so any kind of discipline similar to time-outs is being completely lost on them! Their left and right brains up to the age of 4 to 5 years old are essentially operating independently. They are unable to think logically, and with compassion or empathy. They are almost primarily governed by impulse and emotions and will act selfishly when playing with others. Concepts such as sharing are foreign to them, though they may mimic or parrot this kind of behaviour back to you if driven home repeatedly."

what do you think? have you done any research on brain development in children? 
would you like to? 
i want to! i have done very little so far! i have a lot to learn.
so please share!

pictures.

here are some pictures from the last few weeks...just cause.

beginning of the summer, relaxing in the pool with the grandparents.

she's just cute is all.

fun in the tub. we looove bubbles!

my grandma. this was bek's graduation party.

aunt bek

our good friends! penny : mary : ben. this was at the twins' 1st birthday party! they're 2 months older than scarlett. miss them so much.

sitting outside. we do this a lot.

we also do this a lot.

she's really into putting things on her head, around her neck and on her face. super cute.

she's got her modeling pose down. ha.

kronky's 14th birthday! we went mini golfing (I WON...just sayin.) and than out to eat. it was a fun day!

brother benny and i

the day after laura's birthday we drove to iowa to visit the fam. den + patty (alex's dad and step mom) just started farming this year! they've got tons of veggies and fruits. all organic. it's amazing. and a ton of hardwork. 

scar loved papa wimms's hat! actually alex brought it home with us.

scar on a boat for the fist time :) she did not like the life jacket at all. and i don't blame her. 

relaxing by the water, watching the boats go by.

she loves her auntie laurel.

drivin the tractor with papa

:)

our camera battery died like two days after we got there aaaaand of course i forgot the charger, so i don't have as many pictures of that trip as i wanted. but we had fun on the farm :)

the bar

HE'S DONE! THE BAR IS OVER!

 I was trying to think of a word besides epic but I can't. This is an EPIC time in our lives. Ha.

 I am so happy.

 It was a fun few days.
 We took the (just over an hour long) train down to Chicago, Monday afternoon. Scarlett so enjoyed it :) She stood on the seat most of the time, looking out the window. She talked a lot about the things she was seeing...she got most excited at the stops when she saw all the people getting on the train.

 We got into the city about 3 pm and walked for a good half hour with luggage and a baby to our hotel in 102 degrees of burning hot sun! I thought I might die. Or at the very least pass out. Scarlett and Alex run so much warmer than I do, I felt extra bad for them. But finally we made it to our nice, cool hotel room, praise the Lord! We stayed at the Inn of Chicago...I was pleasantly surprised...it was nicer than I was expecting. Which I am very grateful for because I'm a little picky when it comes to hotels. I guess I just like them to be nice enough so I don't feel like I'm going to get murdered in my sleep.

hot and thirsty

 But anyway, we just spent Monday afternoon / night eating panera for dinner and relaxing in our room. Scarlett was exhausted and went to sleep at 7. So Alex and I just layed in the dark on our technological devices. But I could barely keep my eyes open so I went to lay down with Scarlett (scar and I shared one bed while Alex had the other all to himself) and literally 15 minutes after I fall asleep she wakes up. And I can't get her back to sleep. I couldn't believe it -- that never happens! Sooo we turned the lights on and hung out til about 10. I'm glad she didn't stay up any later than that 'cause Alex needed a good night of sleep. Which despite all the nerves he actually slept well :)

Scarlett and I were planning on walking with Alex the next morning to his exam, which was about 5 blocks from our hotel, but it was pouring rain, so alas...we did not...which worked out 'cause Scar was still sleeping when Alex had to to leave. Scarlett and I just hung out in the hotel room for the morning. I don't know if it was just being somewhere different or what but she just seemed to be having a blast the whole time we were there. I think a big part of it was that this was the most Alex had been around at one time in the last few weeks. He has been busy busy. So needless to say, she has loved having all daddy's attention.

good morning!

leaving for (most of) the day.

 A little before noon we picked up some lunch and went to meet Alex! I was so excited to hear how his morning went...or how he felt it went. We sat in the grass outside the building waiting for him to come out. Slowly they started trickling out, until it seemed like it was going to be a never ending out pour of lawyers-to-be carrying their little plastic bags of necessities...anything they brought had to be put in a ziploc of sorts. Weirdos. We brought him lunch the next day, too and also met him at the end of the day when he was done. Each time while we were waiting for him I heard so many of them talk about the questions on the exam and their answers and essentially how awful they thought they did.

waiting for daddy

licia licia licia

 On Tuesday Scar and I met up with one of my closest friends, Licia on her lunch hour...which was more like two hours. She works downtown, right on the river. We had a good visit. I'm so glad I got to see her. On Wednesday after lunch with Alex little boo and I took a walk down Michigan before nap time. And then picking alex up/meeting him when he was DONE was amaaazing...ahhh it was a little like christmas. I got my husband back. Scarlett got her daddy back. And he got his life back. Ha. I am so happy!!!! I really enjoyed the city those couple days...visiting is a blast but I am always reminded that I am a small town girl at heart.

And speaking of small towns!...We're driving to the (very) small town of Arispe, IA right now. Maybe 100 people. Maybe less? Headed to the in-law's farm! Very much looking forward to this trip. I love this family so much and I know this is some much needed time away for Alex.

finger painting

today we hung out in the pool for a little bit before it got too hot lol.  it was relaxing and fun. scarlett loves getting zoomed around in her little tube.

we went straight from the pool to the tub to paint! i had made some finger paint earlier, which was so easy and quick!

i mixed 1 cup of flour and 2 1/2 cups of water in the pot over low heat until it thickend a little. then mixed in a couple table spoons of salt. then let it cool before adding the food coloring. 

finished product! it was pretty gooey, i think i left it on the stove too long. but over all it was awesome! next time i will make more and keep the extra in squeezable bottles.

my favorite part is that i know exactly what's in it and it's edible! since scarlett puts everything in her mouth.

my sweet girl.

she was a little unsure at first until i showed her what she could do and then she was all about it. it was a blast until clean up time! she did not like when i turned the water on to clean up. i had to hold her while i washed her off...poor thing was not happy. i think the fact that it was nap time had something to do with that. so guess what we did next...NAP!

we had a good day :)

bubba bubba bubba

scarlett loves bath time. especially the bubbly part. we sing the bubble song a lot during bath time...which pretty much consists of me singing bubble bubble bubble a bunch and then POP! but scar loves it and she often sings with me...bubba bubba bubba... and of course lots of 'p' sounds for POP! seriously the sweetest thing ever.