Total weight gain: this is the most pointless question in the first trimester. and also because i don't own a scale.
Maternity clothes: nevermind. maybe this is the most pointless. no maternity clothes yet but i have worn nothing but comfy jammie pants and hoodies for almost 2 months now!
Sleep: umm a little better i guess. not waking up as much as i was...or at least when i do i'm able to fall asleep pretty quickly. that could be because i have been staying up later (like 10-11) so i'm totally exhausted. but when i go to bed early i wake up and then can't fall back asleep, usually because i'm thinking too much and get all anxious.
Sweetest moment this week: probably scarlett pooping on the toilet :) she is just so happy every time she does it...it makes me so so happy. plus, we get to be a diaper free home for a few months!
Hardest moment this week: i'm not gonna lie...this last month and a half has been mostly full of hard moments. hard being relative because i'm only sick because i'm pregnant and of course we are all so beyond happy. but me being basically couch ridden is wearing on all of us. i don't want to insult single parents because i know it's not the same thing at all but i feel like alex has just a teeny tiny bit of an idea what it's like to be a single dad. he works full time, comes home takes over with scarlett...playing, making and feeding dinner, bedtime routine and then i will usually lay with her to put her down since i'm a pro at laying down. and then he cleans. oh and he also takes care of the puppy...taking her out, making sure she doesn't destroy anything, feeding her...and he gets up in the middle of the night to take her out since she still can't hold it that long yet. and he doesn't complain. ever. but i know that it's getting tiresome...not only physically but every other way as well. actually probably harder mentally than physically. i'm incredibly lucky to have him. and scarlett. she's so amazing. she has been so loving and wanting to take care of me but this is definitely effecting her negatively...maybe positively in some ways as well but those are harder to see. she hasn't played with another kid in almost 2 months. she's barely played with me in 2 months. alex meets her needs as much as he can when he's home but i suck at it. i'm getting better at accepting i'm doing the best i can (except i often doubt that i'm actually doing my best) and this is just how it is for hopefully not too much longer. right now there's nothing i can do to change things. i've tried willing myself more energy and less nausea buuuut it doesn't work. i know beating myself up over it is only going to hurt all of us. #rambling
Miss anything? my husband. we haven't been getting much quality time. i usually go to bed pretty early.
Cravings: chocolate shake.
Symptoms: it seems like i have a pattern of a few really bad days that i can barely move and i throw up a lot... to a couple days of slightly better and then a few days of feeling ok...ok meaning that when i'm laying down i only feel slightly nauseous and i can stand up for 5 minutes without wanting to throw up and i can eat more than a cracker at a time! aaaaand then it's back to the really bad days.
right now i'm in the ok days. but i'm really emotional and so tired. i've cried a lot this week. my boobs have been getting bigger the last couple weeks so that's fun....i didn't notice that when i was pregnant with scarlett until well into my second trimester.
Looking forward to: my next OB appt is in a week - i can't wait to hear their heartbeats!
and spring! i am definitely dreaming of spring.
The weight gain and maternity clothes questions wouldn't have been pointless for me . . . I'm pretty sure that by 11 weeks I was already in maternity jeans and gaining weight steadily. And I was only housing one baby!! And my boobs getting bigger and sore was one of the first noticeable signs that I was pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure deep down you know this, but Scarlett isn't really suffering from you being couch-ridden. It's only a couple of short months in her long life. She probably hardly even notices. I have to keep reminding myself of the same thing, having to be apart from Lydia. This will be a tiny blip in their lives that they won't remember a few months down the road.
I understand how hard it mist be on your husband, too. Ben had to go through the same thing. Good thing we married amazing men!