12 weeks

How far along? 12 weeks. babies are about the size of a plum!

Total weight gain: none gained yet but i've lost 4lbs. which is less than i lost in my 1st trimester with scarlett.

Maternity clothes: yoga pants for life.

Sleep: i can tell the babies are growing because i have to get up to pee at night now even tho i'm basically dehydrated. otherwise sleep is pretty much the same as last week.

Favorite moment this week: i had my 12 week dr appt yesterday and it was such a huge relief to see both babies growing , with strong heartbeats. i don't think i realized until then that a part of me...was still afraid of believing that i was actually pregnant. i'm sure that sounds silly. but when i found out we were having twins i was thrilled, it's what i wanted. but...i was scared....i felt like it was too good to be true and that we would lose one of them...or both. i guess i've been nervous about carrying two. so this first trimester has been a little nerve wracking for me. but yesterday seeing them and hearing the dr so reassuring about their growth.....i just feel...happy. and thankful. oh, so thankful. baby B measured 12 weeks and baby A measured 12 weeks 1 day (this was yesterday at 12 weeks exactly). up until now baby A was always a few days smaller (according to their measurements).

alex also surprised me by coming to this appt....he didn't think he would be able to make it but he did. which was especially nice for me because i have been super emotional this week and kept imagining my dr not able to find a second heartbeat and how my dr would have to comfort me because alex wasn't there and i barely know this dr yet so then i would  just go sit in my car because i would rather be alone and would i be able to drive? or would i need to call alex to pick me up? well obviously i would call him right away to tell him. except i probably wouldn't be able to tell him with words because i would just be crying and then he would have to get this devastating news while he's at work? so basically i was so so happy that he was there :)
alex has also been extra amazing recently. he is loving me so well through all of my craziness.

Hardest moment this week: monday and tuesday were really hard for me....i started feeling really sick again which got me feeling really discouraged. i'm tired of living on my couch. i had some good cries and let myself be ok with letting myself feel all the feels without feeling guilty for feeling them.

Miss anything? cooking dinner with a glass of wine and dancing with scarlett to loud music. in general, my energy.

Cravings: not really.

Symptoms: my nausea has lifted a bit. actually over the weekend i felt pretty good...i thought i was over it....but then monday i was a mess again, hence the discouragement. but still, i'm much better than i have been. i'm tired and i get waves of insane weakness. and yesterday before my appt i had a slight panic attack at the thought of getting scarlett and i ready to leave the house in the midst of one of those waves. but waves are better than a constant flow, which is what it had been like. i still puke every time i brush my teeth. i'll be over all this soon tho. 12 weeks!! woohoo!!

Looking forward to: being apart of the family dance parties again! instead of just watching alex and scar dance and play. not that that's not fun, too. but i'm looking forward to doing life with my family.
i can't imagine ever taking life and health for granted ever ever ever ever.